We had to launch a written review on this bad boy just because it doesn’t deserve the time dedicated to an audio episode. We only review written wise movies we have covered in the past or sequels, reboots, etc., but on this one we bucked the trend because both of your duly critics were saddened by the remake of The Magnificent 7. Movie reviews and disc quality reviews are color coded for your convenience, BillChete in orange and Lady Phantom in blue respectively.
IMDb Storyline: Director Antoine Fuqua brings his modern vision to a classic story in The Magnificent Seven. With the town of Rose Creek under the deadly control of industrialist Bartholomew Bogue, the desperate townspeople employ protection from seven outlaws, bounty hunters, gamblers and hired guns. As they prepare the town for the violent showdown that they know is coming, these seven mercenaries find themselves fighting for more than money.
I’ll start with maybe my only positive; I thought for sure I would fall asleep during this flick as Westerns are among the worst genre films for me. The story kept me awake and some of the performances were interesting especially by Denzel Washington (Chisolm) and Vincent D’Onofrio (Jack Horne). This clan of mercenaries agree to fight for this small town that is being taken over by the baddies. The action scenes were extremely staged to me and felt unrealistic which really hurts this type of film. Hard cuts and editing didn’t help either. The music and soundstage wavered from incorrigible to moderately okay. If you’re a fan of Westerns just stick to the original where you get incredible performances from Steve McQueen and Yul Brynner.
How do you manage to put together a pretty impressive ensemble of actors, and still make a terrible movie? I really don’t know, but the people behind this film certainly do. I mean, they managed to make me dislike Vincent D’Onofrio’s character, and that in itself is a feat. I only liked two characters, but of course they have next to zero screen time. The story is incredibly predictable: without ever having seen the original, and having done no research whatsoever, I knew exactly what would happen and who would die. Completely boring and formulaic.
4K Disc Quality:
Here we go again, a blasphemous grainy pile of poo through and through. It’s extremely heavy in most scenes and really ticks me off for a current release. Shot on 35mm you would think you would at least maintain a “filmic” old era look but that is washed away with several brighter than normal scenes. You do get a slight tick up in detail but at what cost you say…snowy, blustering grain. If studios continue to go this route with maintaining distracting grain then all hopes will be lost on this 4K format we have all come to love. This Disc is an epic failure and I strongly urge you to avoid this 4K Blu-ray at all cost.
The 4K is in line with the movie. Super grainy image, it makes no use of HDR, and very forgettable audio. If you for some reason want to get this movie, don’t waste your money on the 4K version.
Breakdown of “The Magnificent Seven (2016)“
|BillChete: 3 (Avoid)||Lady Phantom: 2 (Avoid)|
|4K Blu-ray Disc Grade|
|BillChete: F (Unworthy)||Lady Phantom: F (Unworthy)|
Average 4K Disc Grade